


A Grand Scheme of Messes

by FujiRouge



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angry Harry Potter, Attempt in Humor, Chill Tom Riddle, Crack Fic, Dumbass Harry Potter, Getting Together, Harry Potter is So Done, Harry swears a lot, M/M, Sane Tom Riddle, Shipping wars, Swearing, Tom has a cult, alternative universe, lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:07:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24608914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FujiRouge/pseuds/FujiRouge
Summary: NEWS FLASH: The heir of Slytherin, Tom Riddle and Gryffindor's talented Seeker, Harry Potter was seen making out! Is there perhaps a romance blooming between two people from different rivalry houses? Find out more at page 4.--Where Hogwarts has a secret newspaper club, Tom and Harry made it into the front page and now everyone ships them.---"Everyone's been asking me how big your dick is. How the fuckin' hell should I even respond to that?""Nine inches.""Wait– really?""No.""...what the fuck are we going to do with the rumors?""Nothing. Let it sizzle on it's own and it's bound to burn out eventually.""Even the professors think we're together.""Let them think what they want.""Easy for you to say– What the bloody hell is a Tomarry anyway!?"
Relationships: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle, Lily Evans Potter/Severus Snape, Regulus Black/James Potter
Comments: 85
Kudos: 727





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文-普通话 國語 available: [【授翻/中篇】了不起的混乱](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24661144) by [Lolita0904](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lolita0904/pseuds/Lolita0904)



Harry stormed towards the Slytherin's common room, dragging a not so pleased Draco Malfoy by the collar.

"Potter, let me go this instant!"

"Shut up and open the door." 

Draco glared holes onto Harry's head for a good chunk of minute before he begrudgingly hissed out, _"Viper Pits."_

The door opened, Harry nodded at Draco in thanks but the blonde already scurried off.

He ignored the whispers and stares from the Slytherin students, he saw Tom sitting on a throne-like chair near the glowing fire, currently invested on a Charms book.

"Tom." Harry called, "I imagine you've already heard the news."

Tom brought down his book on his lap, seemingly unsurprised by Harry's presence, as if he was expecting for his arrival. "What news, my charming sweetums?" He smiled, fluttering his lashes innocently. 

Between his already clenching teeth, he managed to say, "Let's talk privately, _sweetums_." He hissed the word with such vehemence, internally giving himself a pat on the back for not losing his temper and simply yell at the teen, it wouldn't be a smart move especially not in front of an audience who regarded Tom highly as if he was royalty.

"Of course." He placed down his book and followed Harry out the door. 

"What the fuck was that!?"

"What's what?"

"Don't give me that shit! You calling me sweetums back there, are you the one behind this?"

"As if I would do something that will affect me similarly, believe me, I wasn't too happy either as you are when I saw the photo of us supposedly making out."

He grabbed the set of newspaper from his robs and opened it with a scowl, the way the picture was angled made it appear they were snogging in the hallway but that was literally the last thing they were doing from that point of time.

Tom and Harry was actually arguing about whether it's alright to brush their teeth too much and the most effective way to do it– for some inexplicable reason, it slowly reverted into the classic argument of whether muggleborns should be given a magical education.

In a spam of frustration, Harry grabbed Tom's collar and pulled him so close, the other teen had to bend down and use an arm on the wall as leverage.

Now thinking about it, Harry understood why some people could misunderstand it.

But that wasn't the point– the _point_ was that now everyone thought Harry and Tom are dating. Harry went to breakfast to find most of the students gawking at him. He told this to Hermione who answered by giving him a newspaper. His eyes shot opened when he saw the photo. 

"Everyone keeps keep asking me what size your dick is." Harry said, face wincing as if it physically hurt to say, "How the fuckin' hell should I even respond to do that?"

"Nine inches."

Harry snapped his head to Tom, disbelief, "Wait– really?"

"No." The crinkling humor was clear from Tom's hazel eyes.

"...what are we gonna do about the rumors?"

"Nothing." Tom responded with a shrug, "Let it sizzle on it's own and it'll bound to burn out eventually."

"Even the teachers think we're together." Harry remembered on his way to the Slytherin's common room, Professor Slughorn greeted him a congrats for being able to snatch a catch like Tom– he even slapped Harry on the shoulder with a laugh and reminded him to use protection.

God no, Harry was going to ask Hermione to Obliviate him later.

"Let them think what they want," His calm demeanor towards the whole ordeal was astounding. Harry imagined Tom would have been just as angry as him– being rumored to be in a relationship with someone you hate with a certain degree (a degree of wanting to choke out his throat and not even in a sexual way) to the whole damn school. 

"Easy for you to say–" He squinted at the newspaper closely, "What the bloody hell is a Tomarry anyway!?"

\---

"So."

"Shut up."

"I'm not saying anything."

"You were about to ask me how long Tom's cock is–"

"But I made a bet! His dick couldn't be longer than nine inches, Harry–"

"Ron, I already told you, I never fucked him–"

"Not even a blowjob?"

When Harry finally raised his head, nose itchy from the smell of parchment, Ron's face was frowning at him incredulously. "Let me rephrase it again. I never touched his dick–"

"Can we please stop talking about that?" Hermione cut in, looking thrown off by the topic of conversation. 

"But the photo–"

"It's a misunderstanding, we never actually kissed– who the hell even writes the newspaper?" Harry never recalled Hogwarts having a newspaper club.

"No one knows." Hermione responded, "Everyone's been trying to figure it out– it must be some sort of newspaper club because no single person can write this much words. They must all be gossipers too."

"Nothing about that newspaper was true or accurate– they were all gossips." Harry grumbled, running a hand to his hair to thoroughly mess it more. Even one page in the papers stating a theory that lizard people control the Ministry. Did some people believe this crap?

"Well not all of them–"

"Ron, no," Harry groaned, wanting to stop the topic altogether.

"I've actually considered it once– even before all this fiasco, you and Riddle have this..." He gestured to the air, brows scrunched in concentration as he finds the right word, "uhh what was it again– oh right, sexual tension! Yeah, that."

"I kind of understand what Ron means." 

Harry stared at Hermione, betrayed, "No way, you too?"

"Do you want an example? Remember the time on Defense?"

Ron suddenly bursted into fits of laughter, "Oh, Merlin, yes. One moment they were fighting so intensely you could've sworn they were off to kill each other then the next, you were laying on Riddle's stomach, just staring at each other."

"We had our wands pointed at each other– how sexual can that even be?" He pointedly said, before his mind helpfully decided to replay the exact memory.

_Harry breathed heavily, pressing the tip of his wand on Tom's neck, just near his swallowing Adam's apple. His lips curved into a smirk, "I guess I've won, Tom." He declared._

_Something probed on his stomach. His green eyes shot opened in surprise and completely wiped the smirk off his face, his reaction made Tom grin ferociously, "Perhaps next time, Harry." He purred._

His face burned.

His reaction escalated Ron's laughter, bending down on his stomach and slamming his hand on the table. Harry grabbed his face, groaning, "Oh my god, shut up."

Hermione patted his shoulder, almost sorry for him. 

"Well Riddle is attractive–"

"I don't understand why you have to point that out."

"It's not like it's the end of the world, Harry—

"Yeah, imagine being rumored to be in a relationship with Malfoy–" Ron shuddered, like the mental image just scarred him, "Gross."

Hermione threw Ron a scolding glare, "You're not helping, Ron. What I meant was, the rumors will die down–"

The door slammed open, revealing George and Fred. "Harry! We need to ask you–"

"About something important–"

"Very important, indeed–"

"How long is Riddle's dick?" They both finished.

There was an unmoving silence. Ron stifled his frantic laughter with a pillow, Hermione was massaging her temple while Harry just blanched at their words, looking very sick.

"Eventually." Hermione finished, "but in the meantime, Harry, good luck."

  
\--

  
"Avery?"

"Yes?"

"What is that pin on your robs?"

"It's simply a pin."

"Yeah, but what the fuck does Tomarry mean?"

"It's a name."

"It sounds like a mixture of my name and Tom's."

"That's because it is."

Avery didn't look bothered by his unrelenting glare of pure judgement and frustration.

"But why?"

"It's a ship."

"A ship? There's a ship called Tomarry?"

Avery shook his head, trying to mask his urge to laugh but failing ultimately, "It's better if you don't think of it too much. Don't want to hurt yourself."

Harry saw students coming in to class with the same pins clasped in their robs– most of them, he noticed, were female. Draco Malfoy came in, also wearing the blasted thing, and looked so smug when he caught Harry gaping at him. "Hello to you too, Potter." 

"I can't believe you've done this–" He saw Draco's twin, Abraxas pass by, "Shit– you too?" 

Abraxas raised a perfect brow, "It's stylish." Before walking off.

Hermione finally arrived at class, Ron just beside her, "Oh Harry, so I figured you already know?" She frowned.

"Know that the pins with the mixture of my name and Tom's name is all the fashionable rage in Hogwarts right now? Yes." Harry just sounded exasperated, and he was, "Who's selling this?"

"The twins." Draco replied, his narrowed eyes not leaving Ron. They began having a staring competition. "It was in a reasonable price too."

"Malfoy." Ron curled his face in a distasteful manner.

"Weasley." Draco acknowledged, portraying the same disgust.

"Harry." Tom suddenly popped in.

"Tom." Harry groaned at his unwanted arrival.

"Pansy." Pansy grinned, her presence completely random, "Since everyone's suddenly saying names, might as well joined in?"

Slughorn finally arrived, all the students rushed to take their seats. Ron and Draco gave the other a final death glare before moving on with their lives. Tom winked at Harry as he took an empty seat just behind him, Harry replied with a scoff.

"Hello class–" Slughorn eyed their pins with a blink, "Oh my, I didn't know pins were so popular now."

"I have a spare one, Professor Slughorn." 

"Well, Thank you Mr. Malfoy, I appreciate your kindness."

Harry twitched in his seat, a soft chuckle resounded from his back. He ignored it.

"As I have rightfully reminded yesterday, today we're going to do a potion called The Sleeping Draught – can anyone please tell me what this is? Yes, Mr. Riddle?"

Tom stood up, "It makes the drinker fall into a deep sleep temporarily."

"Thank you for your answer, Mr. Riddle–About what I heard about you're newfound relationship." Oh God. Harry grabbed his cheek, feeling his insides burn from embarrassment, "With Mr. Potter, I presume?"

Tom just nodded with a small smile. Harry's jaw fell. What the fuck?

"Ah, what young love! I remember my first love, indeed. May I ask who confessed first?"

No one, because it never happened! Harry wanted to yell loudly, but he kept his mouth tight in a screw. No point in embarrassing himself more.

"Well, Professor, if you must know– it was Harry who did." Tom responded, sitting down.

Harry mouthed 'What the hell are you doing?' but Tom didn't even spare him a glance. Prick.

"Just as I expected, how brave of you, Potter!" Slughorn nodded at his direction, "As I expected from the Gryffindor house. Now about the task at hand– your partner is simply the one beside you."

Ron was his partner, Harry thought. So much for passing.

"Except for Riddle and Potter, you two lovebirds can be partners!" 

Harry blinked, wondering if he heard it wrong, "What?"

"Oh you don't have to be so shy! Come, Malfoy, exchange a seat with Potter."

"But Professor, you don't have to–"

"Yeah!" Ron backed him up, clearly horrified at the thought of being partnered with Draco, "If Harry doesn't want to–"

"Oh nonsense, nonsense, you don't have to deny it, Mr. Potter. Now, Mr. Malfoy, please hurry up and grab your things."

Draco took his belongings, trying to keep his composure but Harry knew he was internally screaming profanities at the whole thing and slowly scampered to his desk, "Well, Potter? We don't have the time of day," He wasn't looking at Harry though, his stern eyes were stuck to Ron's.

Harry, in quiet anger, grabbed his stuff, and exchanged seats– he reminded himself that cursing a teacher was wrong. Very wrong. He'd probably get expelled too. He didn't bother to even look at Tom, knowing too well that he was definitely smirking.

"Now, let us begin."

For the most part, Tom didn't mock or tease Harry– and thank God, he didn't. Harry was so close to blow up. They worked together in silence, Tom asking Harry to do stuff and Harry would just obey, mouth tightly screwed. 

He was cutting up Valerian when he suddenly felt a small sprang of pain on his finger.

"Fuck." He dropped the knife to check the broken skin that slipped a droplet of blood. It didn't hurt much, he got used to pain after his several trips to the clinic because of quidditch accidents– he sometimes fell from his broom and hit his head, Hermione always made sure to him twice as punishment for being reckless.

Tom stopped what he was doing and hovered his head up from Harry's shoulder, he tsked in amusement, "How very clumsy of you, Harry."

"Shut up." Harry said, about to lick it clean with his tongue, it was just a small cut after all but Tom quickly seized his wrist, preventing him from doing so, "What are you doing–"

"You're being disgustingly inelegant, you're a wizard for Merlin's sake, use healing spells."

Rolling his eyes, he tried to take his hand back but Tom simply pulled it back. They started to play a game of tug and pull— Harry's hand being served as the rope. After a few minutes, Harry already felt a vein popping in his head, "Fine! Take it, do whatever you want!"

"I shall and I will," Tom took out his wand, muttering out some spell– Harry was too mad to pay attention but then he noticed...

Was it just him or was everyone gaping at him?

He narrowed his eyes at the students who were mostly female taking subtle glances at his direction, while some just outright stared at him with pure enthusiasm, they all look overjoyed as they stifled their chuckles– what were they all giggling at for? Did Harry had something in his face?

What the hell?

They weren't just staring at Harry, they also had eyes for Tom– no, they were staring at both of them.

"Done." Once Tom looked at Harry, he asked, "What's the matter? Why is your face scrunching up like you've eaten a bad lemon?"

"Why is everyone staring at us?"

"You just noticed that?" Tom snorted, shaking his head.

"What do you mean?"

"They do that whenever we interact to each other."

"But why?"

Tom shrugged, "I don't know, perhaps something to do with the shipping– whatever that means, I didn't bother to listen to Avery's inane explanations, he kept on giggling every six seconds." 

"Is everyone just slowly going crazy and we're both the only normal ones?"

"It depends, have we ever been normal in the first place?"

"No. I imagined not– I've been putting up with you lately, that'll give a normal man a reason to go insane."

Tom curled his lips and rolled his eyes, "How charming, now shut up and finish your job."  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom has a fanclub. The Weasley twins are total assholes. Ginny fainted. There's a shipping war going on and Harry is just tired.

Tom had a cult of worshippers– a fanclub they proclaimed to be but Harry begged to differ.

He stared at all the unhinged looking girls who stared at him right back with a predatory glint. They were mostly in Slytherin but Harry could see some students in different houses from the female crowd. 

"Uh-huh, right, a fanclub, _sure_." Harry slowly backed away from some creepy Slytherin girl that kept trying to steal strands of his hair, "So what's that have to do with me?" 

"What else? Duh, you're his boyfriend!" A raven-haired said, "And we need all the answers!"

"Whoa, whoa– I'll say it first, and I'll say again, Tom is not my boyfriend." Harry firmly said, making sure to emphasize every word in hopes that they'll be able to regurgitate what he said. "That photo of me and Tom was just a misunderstanding–"

His sentence was cut off when the girls just laughed in chorus, "Oh Potter, you're such a cute little thing– Tom did say you looked adorable when you're shy! You don't have to deny it, we're all friends here!"

"Tom told you that?"

The girls nodded.

He was gonna beat some sense out of Tom– so much for letting the rumors burn out when he's literally the one filling it with more sprinkled lies. It was pointless to try and deny anything, quite frankly, Harry was getting sick of repeating his words. These girls believed everything Tom fed to them– no way would they believe Harry.

"Well, this was fun but I really got to go now and do uh, stuff–"

A brunette stopped his pathway, "Hold on, you're not leaving until you answer some questions!"

After mentally preparing himself, he hesitantly asked, "Oh yeah? And that is?" 

He immediately regretted it.

Obscene questions were bombarded in his way, Harry couldn't exactly discern anything they were actually saying when they all spoke at the same time. 

"Which part does Tom wash first when he goes to shower?"

"Is Tom gay or bisexual?"

"Does Tom have a weird fetish?"

"What's it like to bottom?"

That question particularly brought Harry's attention, "Wait– what makes you think I bottom? Why can't Tom bottom?"

The freckled girl who asked him the question observed Harry first from head to toe, before looking up straight to his face again, "Hmm...no, you definitely bottom." She concluded.

Others commented with an agreement. Harry frowned.

"Is it because I look like a girl?" Sure, Harry was short (A trait he got from his dad no matter how much the man tried to deny it) and he had received some compliments about his lashes being as long as a girl, but not enough to be mistaken as one.

For some reason, this was taking a slight toll in his masculinity.

"It's not that you're feminine– it's more the fact that Tom has very strong big daddy vibes."

"I don't even know what that means." It sounded absurd too.

"We could explain it to you–"

He quickly brought his hand up, "No, no, definitely not. Although... I reckon what's a shipping?" It definitely didn't do anything with actual ships, that Harry was sure of.

It was perhaps the longest and exhausting explanation his ears had the unfortunate chance to hear. Shipping was pairing up two people together and making mixed names of that pairing or _ship_ , as they say. By the way they explained it, they were awfully passionate about it– Harry couldn't understand why.

Shipping was basically pushing two people's faces together and yelling them to kiss.

"So Tomarry... Is the ship name of me and Tom's?" 

"Yeah, but there's also others, like Dramione–"

"Wha–"

"Drarry–"

"With Draco!?"

"Tobraxas–"

"Stop! Stop, I don't need to know! God, I'm leaving." Harry pulled himself out of the group, their grips on his arm was strong but he luckily managed to break free and leave. Their groans of disappointment was the last he heard when he sprang into a cold run. 

He smoothened his robs first before he headed inside of class. Tom raised a brow at his rugged appearance but Harry was too worn out from his earlier interaction to care, the only empty seat was beside Avery or Tom's. Naturally, he chose the first option. 

Avery glared at him when he occupied the empty seat. "Why are you sitting here?" He asked.

Harry rolled his eyes, "Well I don't see anyone else sitting here so what's your problem?"

"Sit next to Tom!"

"Fuck no."

"Go sit next to him."

Avery began pushing him out, Harry scowled at his childish actions, "What the fuck– if you want to sit next to him, then do it yourself!"

Abraxas arrived from the door, and took the empty seat beside Tom.

Thankfully, that shut Avery up but he was muttering something in his breath– probably cursing Harry. 

Lestrange silently squealed, the same abhorrent high pitch sound girls made whenever Tom and Harry merely talked to each other– the shippers, he remembered. The pureblood was staring at Abraxas and Tom who were too busy making small talk, he was attempting to hide his smile but the spaces of his fingers just blew his cover.

"What the hell?" Harry muttered, "What's wrong with him?"

Avery's mouth twitched in bemusement, "Oh. He likes Abraxas and Tom together." He said it in a spiteful way, "I don't see the appeal."

Harry observed the two boys for a moment, "Hmm... I can see it." 

"What?" He gasped, "You're a Tobraxas shipper–"

"Is that their– uh, ship name? It sounds ridiculous."

"I know right? Tomarry is much better–"

"How dare you?" Lestrange interrupted, glaring daggers at Avery, "I'll have you know that Tobraxas is a splendid couple, you're just far too ignorant to know and understand why it's a much superior pairing."

"How dare _you_? Tomarry has a much better and unique dynamic than Tobraxas– They act like they hate each other when in reality, the yearning is real–"

"You're being delusional," Harry interjected, "I absolutely hate Tom a hundred percent, there is no actual yearning going on–"

"Abraxas and Tom had been friends since the beginning of first year– they are a much healthier and fluffier pairing than Tomarry who done nothing but hurt each other all through out the year–"

"A healthy relationship doesn't qualify as an interesting one–"

"Enemies to Lovers is such an overrated troupe."

Avery narrowed his eyes, "You take that back."

Lestrange grinned, "Never."

The two began to debate like it was a matter of life and death when in reality, it was just a stupid argument about a stupid thing. Harry watched all of their blundering in the sidelines, making sure to take as much entertainment as he could. 

When Flitwick arrived, he had to separate the two purebloods from pulling each other's hairs.

"What the hell just happened?" Harry watched as the boys quietly went back go their places.

"A shipping war," Pansy replied, "Do we both agree that it's a stupid thing?"

"Agreed."

\--

After class, the twins pulled Harry into an empty hallway.

"There better be a good reason why you pulled me all the way here." Harry grumbled, still pissed off by what they did. The pins remained to be a fashion trend in Hogwarts, he even spot Slughorn wearing it– Harry doubt if he knew what it actually meant.

George and Fred smiled at each other, clear mischief clouded in their expression. This caused Harry to straighten up his back in wariness. That definitely didn't mean anything good.

"So?"

Fred grabbed something– a notebook or diary from his robs, "So back at home, I was walking to the kitchen–"

"He went to get a plate of cookies–"

"When I saw something on the floor–"

"A treasure, it truly was!"

The so called treasure– Fred waved it around like a giddy child who was showing off his new plaything. 

Harry frowned, "Yeah, so what's written inside?"

The twins nodded, Fred opened a few pages in, then dramatically cleared his throat and spoke in a narration voice, " _Tom pushed Harry into the wall harshly, his arms caging him helplessly like an animal–_ "

Harry's brows furrowed together, confusion etched on his face.

" _He softly cradled his chin and whispered 'You've been a very naughty, naughty boy, Harry–'_ "

A realization washed over him. His confusion turned into deep seethed horror.

" _His large hand reached over through his trousers, easily slipping into Harry's underwear and touching his_ –"

"STOP!" Harry yelled, trying to grab it from Fred but George stopped him, laughing.

_"Harry let out a moan, his forehead pressed against Tom's collarbones then he breathed out, in a raspy tone, 'Please, daddy, show me how bad I've been–'"_

He let out an agonizing shriek, grabbed his ears as he felt every inch of his soul eat up from utter embarrassment. His cheeks started to simmer in heat and Harry glared at the twins with raw hatred.

But they barely cared, too caught up by their incessant laughter.

A girl suddenly stormed out of nowhere, looking feral.

"George, Fred! That's my blasted notebook you–" Ginny's eyes wandered to Harry, her face went from angry to horror in a matter of seconds, "Oh no."

Fred and George's ceaseless laughing just increased, if that was even possible at this point. 

"Oh, dear little sister, you're timing is truly–"

"Impeccable! We were just showing Harry around your exciting stories–"

"I hope you don't mind too much." George finished, winking at her.

Harry turned to Ginny, "You...wrote that?" He questioned, unable to believe what he was seeing. Ginny always appeared to be an innocent person.

She didn't say anything, her cheeks flaring red.

When she finally opened her mouth, she said, "Oh Harry, I can explain–"

" _Harry arched his back in pleasure, feeling the tightness in his arse as Tom continued to pound into him–'"_

"FUCK, FUCK, SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Harry screamed, trying to snatch the notebook but Fred stretched his arm up from his reach. Harry never hated being short until that moment.

A hand took the notebook from Fred, who was so busy cackling, he didn't even noticed someone was behind him– even Harry, so far up in his discomfort to also realize.

Harry stared at Tom. 

Fuckin' great. This must be a sick joke.

"Well, well, I was wondering what all the ruckus was about, I genuinely thought someone was screaming bloody murder but I'm guessing correctly this has something to do with the notebook?" Tom wagged the object in his hand, turning to Harry's reddening face and Ginny's sickly pale look for a brief moment. 

George snorted, "Oh Riddle, it'll be our greatest pleasure–"

"If you opened it and read it yourself." Fred looked positively excited.

"It's truly a work of art!" They both chorused.

"No." Harry growled, "No fuckin' way, Tom– you are not gonna– aaand he's reading it." Figures. Why did he even bother?

He massaged his forehead, hoping it'll ease some tension from his headache. 

As time passed, Tom's amusement grew larger and larger as his eyes scanned over the pages, the small smile in his lips cracked into a full blown grin. He closed the notes, and gave Harry the most smug look he ever mustered. 

"A work of art, it certainly is," He turned to Ginny, "I'm flattered, Weasley, that you described my dick in very excruciating details as long, sleek and stretched fully in Harry's lovely bosom–"

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, please for the love that is holy, do not even finish that sentence!" Harry held his abused ears, already heard enough as it is, his blood pumping in his face. How the hell did Tom read it without any ounce of embarrassment? 

Tom gave the notebook to Ginny, her face so blanched that she might pass out any second. She hardly reacted when Tom patted her shoulder in an apologetic manner. 

"I applaud you much for succeeding to make a beautiful homoerotica of me and Harry doing bareback anal sex in the teacher's lounge, may I ask, have you have written more?" Tom sincerely asked.

Ginny fainted. 

She was then taken to the clinic. The twins carried her, leaving Tom and Harry alone.

"I think you killed her."

"It'd be a shame if I did," He peered into Harry, "I was hoping she could write more– it'll definitely be a pleasure of mine."

Harry rubbed his temple, "Merlin, can you shut up?" 

"I'm sure there are ways we can find out–"

"Alright, I'm out– I just can't." Harry didn't even try to demand why Tom kept lying to people that they were together. He just wanted to leave the place, forget about the disaster ever occuring and maybe splash his face with cold water, his cheeks couldn't stop burning– Tom's suggestive comments weren't helping either.

Harry left, the sound of Tom's laughter rang in his ears. He ignored the stupid part of him that said it was a nice sound to hear.

  
\--

  
Dear, Harry

How's school and Quidditch so far? I hope you haven't fallen off your broom again and broke a limb, honestly, it's a real mystery why you haven't died yet– exactly as reckless as James. Anyway, I've taken a new hobby lately! Gardening takes a lot of hardwork and dirt, I always end up sweating buckets afterwards. Severus told me it was just a phase– like the time I started cooking (which ultimately ended with the pot getting stuck to the ceiling) but I promise, it's not this time!

Now enough about me, recently I heard very interesting things from Remus. About a boy you fancy and currently in a relationship with. You've never mentioned him before in your letters so I'm very curious as to why? I want to know exactly who he is and why you've kept this from me. 

All my love,

Lily

P.S You're bisexual? I can't believe you've never told me this. I forgot to ask if you don't mind I could meet Tom Riddle? I know it might sound like it's moving too fast but I'm very eager to meet him personally.

  
\---

Dear Harry,

WHY HAVE YOU NOT MENTIONED THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND.

And judging by Remus's description, he must be very charming. You definitely inherited my flirting skills– I remember the first time I made a move with Regulus, he broke my nose but I'm absolutely sure he was secretly swooning inside, he'll deny it though like the self-denial bugger he is.

How are you doing? Still failing with potions? I hope you studied well because I certainly didn't, Lily used to beat me in the head for that. Also, Regulus reminded me to tell you to not kill yourself– how many times did you went to the clinic? Eight? Ten times? Can you perhaps tone it down a little? I've already suffered enough heart attacks since the time Regulus decided to adopt a tiger.

I want to meet your boyfriend as soon as possible! Bring him over at Christmas, I just want to check if he's attractive as Remus made him appear to be in his letters. Never took you as the type for the tall, dark and handsome– like father, like son, I imagine.

Love,

Your incredibly awesome father,  
James

\--

  
Harry let out a sigh as he placed the letters inside the drawer. How's he gonna tell that he wasn't actually in a relationship with Tom and that the whole school ships them? 

Also, how the fuck is he gonna explain shipping to his parents without sounding stupid? 

If Harry ever found out the bastard who published the blasted newspaper which started the whole problem, oh boy, he couldn't even imagine what he'll do– _but oh boy_ , he'll enjoy it for sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jegulus is love– I ship this underrated gem so much. It needs more content!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry broke his nose, Tom helps him fix it and now everyone thinks they did it.
> 
> Or the chapter where Harry finally snapped.

'"Where's Ron?"

He looked around the table. 

"In the clinic." Hermione said with an annoyed grimace, grabbing a bite from her turkey, "He and Draco had a brawl in the classroom. They both have nasty bruises in their faces."

Harry snickered, "Really? Who punched first?"

"Ron did. Then Draco attacked next, they started pulling each other's hairs like a bunch of kindergartens, no one wanted to let go. Honestly, Ron should control his anger more."

"I don't know, it sounded like a lot of fun time." He almost wished he was there to see it.

"Of course you would," Hermione rolled her eyes, "And the notes I lend to you yesterday, I need it for later's class–"

"Oh shit." Harry's eyes widened, "I think I left it in class."

Glowering, Hermione nudged him in the shoulder to get going, "Well hurry it up now!" She exclaimed, "Seriously, Harry, I need that for my studi–"

"Okay, okay–" He forced his body to stand from his chair, already missing the uneaten food left from his plate, "Jeez, Hermione I get it– you don't have to push me so hard!" 

He hurriedly walked across the hallways, making sure to check any signs of girls huddled together in a group. Tom's infamous fanclub would not leave him alone, they started stalking him relentlessly despite his fruitless claims of not knowing anything about Tom. 

Their questions range from really personal to downright sexual– Harry can't help but blush at some of them.

They were so stubborn about it that Harry even made up his own answers. And they fed into it like a bunch of parasites. They were all stupid and naive– Tom probably had no trouble manipulating them to his whims.

Also, the memory with the Weasley twins and the damn porn book was still freshly engraved in his mind. He remembered Tom's shitstain of a smirk and his intentional suggestive words: did the prick really have no way of feeling shame?

Finally, he arrived at the door.

It suddenly slammed open with jarring force, his face knocked up in the process. 

The glasses basically punctured his eyelids and a sharp pain flared in his nose. 

Something started flowing from his nose. It was blood.

"Harry?" 

Harry snapped his head at the voice, "Tom?"

His hazel eyes glanced to his now bleeding nose, "Um. Your nose is–"

"Thanks a lot, Tom, I never know could've guessed." He hissed, pinching his nostril together, "Fuck– what's with your strength? Why the fuck do you push doors so darn strong?"

"Maybe you shouldn't stand so close to it then." Tom retorted back, his brows pinched in...concern? No, he must be hallucinating, "Come, I'll take you to Madame Pomfre–"

Harry darted his hand out from Tom's reach, "No way, definitely not– she'll owl my parents about my– uh, fifteenth? Seventeenth–"

"Twentieth actually–"

"Whatever, at this point, my parents will come over to Hogwarts and wrap me with bubble wrap and I've received enough of my mother's letters of being careful and whatnot to last a lifetime."

"Well, maybe stop being so reckless then–" Tom crossed his arms, raising a pointed brow, "What do you propose to do now? Head over to class with a bloody nose?" He said.

"Well–"

"No," Tom sighed, "Take a seat, I'll heal your nose."

"You'll heal my...nose?" Harry stared at him, dumbfounded.

"That's what I said, Harry. Come on, we don't have all day."

A hand placed his shoulder as they walked inside, Harry was too stunned by the prospect of Tom being nice for once to shrug it off.

"That's awfully nice of you."

"I know I'm an angel– and tilt your head up! Merlin, blood is getting everywhere."

\--

  
"It's your fault–"

"My fault!? Must I remind you that you're the one who punched me first–"

"Well maybe if you weren't being such a slimy git, I wouldn't have done it in the first place–"

"Oh, sure, blame it on me! Why don't you?"

Ron and Draco continued to argue, their voices started to grow louder and louder and it echoed within the hallways, it was a mystery in itself that no one has told them to shut up yet.

The dark and bluish marks on their faces were still visible. Apparently, Madame Pomfrey said the potion they drank would take full effect momentarily so their bruises will remain intact until much later.

"Oh, shut up– and don't give me the 'I'll tell father about this' bullshit–" His statement was abruptly interrupted when a hand covered his mouth shut.

Ron was about to yell at the other boy to let him go but he noticed Draco's expression went oddly still, his narrowed grey eyes wandering around the place like he was in search of something.

His irritated scowl turned into confusion, he batted the hand away from his mouth and asked, "Hear what?"

"Shh, just listen." 

And so he did.

A minute passed with just pure silence. Ron started to be doubtful.

"I don't hear anything–"

There was a muffled moan.

Both boys looked at each other, Ron's face began to grow pale while Draco was cautious.

"Y– you don't think that's a ghost, right?" His voice was soft. 

"Oh shut up," Draco rolled his eyes, "We have ghosts around Hogwarts, have you forgotten about that?"

"It's just– I've watched this one movie about a woman with red eyes and–"

"Oh Weasley," The blond smirked, an air of smugness surrounding him, "Don't tell me you're afraid?" He cooed.

Ron straightened his back, crossing his arms in denial, "Of course not! Why would I be afraid?"

"If it makes you feel any better, you could always hold my hand," To prove his point, Draco motioned his hand towards Ron. His gaze observing Ron intently, as if he was waiting for the redhead to actually reach it.

Ron grimaced, "I don't need your hand–"

Another moan resonated in the air, this time louder.

Flinching, Ron immediately took a large grip on his arm, wrapping his fingers around the fabric of Draco's robs, "Oh Merlin, did you hear that again?" Ron asked, his shoulders tensed.

Draco gave him a strange look before looking around, "Of course I did, idiot. I have ears too." He said.

"Do you know where it's coming from?"

Muffled voices began speaking, the two boys then realized the source of where it came from, it was the classroom they were standing in front of.

Draco took a step near the door first as Ron followed behind, his hand still tight on his arm. They pressed their ears against the frame and then finally heard glimpses of voices speaking.

"Ah– ah, fuck it hurts."

That voice– Ron's eyes shot open, "Harry, that's Harry's voice."

"Oh don't be a baby– you can take it–" Another, much deeper voice spoke.

Draco frowned, his mouth forming a small 'o' as recognition swept over him, "That's Riddle." He whispered, his bewilderment clear as day.

They stayed quiet, listening closely to the unaware boys inside the room. 

"Can't you do it more slowly–"

"I'm trying okay– don't move too much–"

"Ahh– ah, shit, fuck, donkey's ass–"

Harry continued to say every colorful swear word in existence, grunting every five seconds.

Ron grimaced, "What the bloody hell are they doing in there?"

There was another crude moan from Harry.

They both froze.

Ron's face revolved into a mixture of disgust and horror. As for Draco, he seemed intrigued, pressing his ear only further.

"Are they..." He winced, "Actually doing it?"

"Seems like it." Draco said, appearing to be impressed by the noises created by Harry, "Potter must be really enjoying himself."

"Ugh...maybe too much." Ron shuddered, visibly uncomfortable.

A wicked grin curled onto the blond's face, "Oh, I can't wait to use this against Potter later."

Ron narrowed his eyes, "Hey! You better not do any shit to my best mate."

"Oh please, are you telling me you wouldn't the same?"

He had a point there. Ron would also do the same, but Draco didn't need to know that.

"Can we leave already? I feel like I'm gonna vomit any minute."

"Then feel free to leave anytime, I didn't know you needed my permission." He raised a brow, pointedly glancing at Ron's hand still clasped firmly on his arm. 

Ron flushed with realization, letting go quickly like his hand had been burned.

"We– well whatever!"

  
\---

Harry realized something odd was going on.

And he knew this because people kept patting his back like he did some sort of achievement– others even whistled humorously as he passed by for some impeccable reason. 

A Gryffindor he never met before even yelled at him, _Atta' boy, Potter! You're truly a brave man, clearly representing our house with honor_ ' before bursting into fits of mad laughter, the other students with him did the same.

Harry simply walked away with even more confusion.

When he went to class, Avery kept staring at him with a look of infinite happiness while Lestrange did the opposite. He looked at him such fury. Harry just blinked at the two and tried to mask his growing discomfort by pretending not to notice.

Later on, Blaise appeared at his desk.

"So, Potter." He started.

"What?" Harry raised his head to look at him.

"I've come to make a bargain." 

"A bargain?" Harry frowned, "Uhh...what kind?"

"I'll split the cash prize with you."

"Prize money?"

"Oh don't pretend– the betting pole! About Riddle? Have you forgotten?"

Harry gazed at Blaise. 

"That's...very generous of you. In exchange for what–?"

"Information, of course! More importantly, his size." Blaise squinted at him like he was stupid, "Are you intentionally being dull-witted?"

"But why the hell are you asking me?"

"Potter!" A classmate of Harry called, "Someone wants to see you."

He turned to the door, a short curly-haired Hufflepuff stood outside, his face turning into a shade of red when they met eye-to-eye.

Blaise rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed by the sudden interruption but Harry ignored him and walked his way out.

Harry faced the boy, "...and you are?"

"Uh- I just wa–wanted to say that I respect you!" He exclaimed, his fist clenching from the side of his hip.

He blinked at the sudden outburst, before scratching the back of his neck awkwardly, "Uh...thanks?"

"My pa–parents have always been homophobic, and I always struggled to their rude slurs–"

Harry didn't sign up for a stranger's backstory.

"That...sucks."

"And I've always appreciated that you and Riddle are very spoken about your relationship–"

"Hold on a second–"

The boy didn't stop, just continued to blabber, "And recently, I've had the strength to come out of the closet and confessed my feelings to someone I really like–"

"That's nice but wait–'

"We're starting to go out, he's really nice to me and I wouldn't have done it without you!"

His brown starry eyes made Harry shut his mouth, he suddenly doubted his courage to tell the kid the truth. 

After a few seconds of wondering what the fuck had happened with his life to warrant a sob story from a total stranger, he meekly asked, "And so...?"

"I just wanted to ask you a question." His face brimmed with red, "About...sexual intercourse with a man."

Now that made Harry frown deeply.

"You think me and Tom...did it?"

"Uhh... didn't you two did?" The boy noticed Harry"s confusion, "I wanted to to ask if it hurt and what kind of position did–"

"Okay, what the hell made you think that we did _that_?" His harsh tone made the younger boy flinch.

"Umm...the news said you guys did."

Of course. What the hell is new?

Harry bottled his anger in. The last thing he wanted to do was to yell at a kid who was the embodiment of a small puppy.

The harassments from fellow students and what Blaise was trying to say earlier all made sense.

"Who the bloody hell said that!?" He basically yelled.

So much for bottling it in. 

The Hufflepuff squirmed beneath his merciless gaze, his shoulders slumping down to make himself smaller, "S–someone h–h–heard you doing it i–in the classroom."

Harry stormed back inside. Blaise noticed the anger radiating from him.

"Oh, boy– who pissed in your cereal?"

"Shut up." He slouched back at his chair, his body suddenly felt limp and tired.

"So about the barga–"

"Fuck that bargain! I didn't fuck Riddle in the classroom."

Blaise merely reacted at his display of exasperation, only gazing at him with a look of doubt, "You didn't?" He repeated.

"No. We. Didn't."

"But Riddle said–"

"What the fuck did Riddle said now?" 

"Uhh..." This time, Blaise slightly recoiled at Harry's glowering expression, "He said you were a screamer." 

Oh, Harry was gonna kill him later.

  
\--

  
"You must be really dying to see me," Tom stared at the metal grip on his wrist, "Is there something you need from me, darling?"

Harry immediately set his hand free, "Oh, so we're doing nicknames now, huh?"

"Well if you prefer, you could always call me daddy–"

"Did you started all of this?"

His smirk fell from his face, noticing Harry's temper, "Started what?" He asked.

A hoarse, spiteful laugh left from Harry's throat, "Everything! Were you the one who started the rumors? Did you made that article to make fun of me?"

"Of course not–"

"Stop lying! I'm not one of your fuckin' little fangirls who believe in every bullshit you spew."

"I think you need to calm down first." Tom tried to touch him but Harry just pushed him away.

"Fuck being calm!" The anger he tried to control for the past couple of hours burst out of its shell, no longer tameable and Harry was sick of keeping it in for too long, "Everyone thinks you're my boyfriend– even my parents couldn't stop pestering me to invite you over to Christmas!"

Tom stared at Harry, oddly pleased at himself for whatever reason, "Your parents want to meet me?" He repeated.

"That's not the point! You're clearly avoiding the subject here– are you doing this because you want to make fun of me? To humiliate me?"

"I didn't lie to humiliate you–"

He rolled his eyes, "That's a laugh and a half, try again better."  
  
"...okay." Tom stayed quiet for a moment, thinking of what to say next, "Maybe I do like seeing you squirm and blush from embarrassment–".

Harry's face darkened. 

"But that's not the full picture. And you might not believe me but I didn't start that rumor of us fucking or have anything to do with the newspaper article about us."

His brows furrowed incredulously as Harry observed Tom's face, to spot if there was any trace of lie hidden behind his expression. He found nothing. For once, Tom looked genuine.

"...why should I believe you?"

"I guess you'll have to take my word for it."

There was a pregnant pause.

"What's the bigger picture then?"

Tom chuckled softly, shaking his head, "Do you really think I tell people we're together simply because I want to humiliate you?" He remarked.

"Well... aren't you?"

His hazel eyes flared for a moment before his expression was inscrutable, "It's more complicated than that." Tom murmured, voice soft.

"You promise you have nothing to do with the rumors?"

"I promise, and about your parents," He smiled, "I wouldn't mind meeting them."

"You...want to meet them?" 

Shrugging, he nonchalantly replied, "Why not? It'll be rude not to." 

"You know if you come, they'll automatically think of you as my boyfriend, right?"

"This isn't high-level Arithmancy, Harry. I know the consequences if I go." Tom rolled his eyes. 

"And you're not, my boyfriend that is. I'm only asking you to go so you can explain to them the truth."

"Whatever helps your face from slamming onto doors, then sure." 

"And by the way," With a finger, he poked Tom's chest, "I am not a screamer." He claimed firmly.

The other boy's lips quirked slightly in amusement, "Zabini told you that? I imagine he already asked you–"

"About you're dick size? Yeah, you can imagine how that conversation went." _Horrible_ , he thought grimly. 

"The winning price does cost a lot."

"Cut to the chase, what's your point?" Harry raised a brow.

"Well..." Tom leaned closer, a cheeky smile stretched upon his mouth and Harry went cross-eyed from his overwhelming proximity. He could see each individual freckles littered on his face, the iris of his eyes which shone in a mix of green and gold, "If you ever need the prize money for some personal reason or gain– I could show you the answer anytime."

Harry tried to appear cool but damn it, he was too close, "That's– you're so hilarious, Tom."

"I'm not lying though."

"Wha–what? Why the fuck would you say that?"

He let out a pleased hum, obviously enjoying Harry's reddening face, "You could say it's part of the bigger picture."

The fringe that hid his scar which he received from Quidditch practice, he swept it aside with a featherlight touch. Harry concealed the urge to shiver.

"...tell your parents I wouldn't mind visiting for Christmas."

Then finally, when he backed away, Harry received the room to breathe, but his heart still kept beating a mile a minute

With a last pat on his shoulder, Tom left.

Harry stood motionless for a moment. The sounds of Tom's footsteps echoing in his ears till he was left with nothing but silence.

Fuck. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HARRY YOU BLIND FUCK! TOM IS CLEARLY PINING FOR YOUR DUMB ASS.
> 
> Anyway 
> 
> Next chapter, Tom meets Harry's parents. There's Jegulus and a little bit of Snily. I can't wait to start writing James, his such a cool dad and a dorky boyfriend to Regulus. 
> 
> I really appreciate the people who take their time to comment and place kudos on my stories! You guys don't understand how much I appreciate them and they motivate me to update faster. Thank uu so much!! \^∆^/
> 
> The next will definitely take more time to finish but until then, I'll try my best.
> 
> Fanart was made by me.


End file.
